The Essence of Family and Great Times.

– Photo courtesy of Threat Poet

What can I say about the reservation that hasn’t been echoed in sentiments from friends and family? It’s the one place that we as Native Americans can flock to when the going gets a little tough. I never really visit that place due to my own personal reasons. But the real people that reside in those special places, i.e. Relatives and Friends, resonate within my own life and makes me reflect on how well it is that I’m doing. My Grandmother lives there, as well as my Aunts and a bunch of Uncles. It’s family. “Familia” is the word that I love to use. It’s a beautiful word that makes me feel all warm and complete inside.

I took a trip out to Albuquerque to see my favorite cousin, Shawn because it’s what I like to do when I feel some sort of urgency to just be myself. It was the second trip in a very short period of time but I was ecstatic to be out there in “the Duke City” once again.. The new vehicle he got is the epitome of what he’s worked toward his entire life, it’s his pride & joy. When he picked me up at the Albuquerque Sunport in that new truck…I could sense that a tide had turned for him. I consider myself privileged to see his joy.

For Memorial Day Weekend, I decided to join him and his family at Wheatfields Lake in the beautiful north country of Arizona. It was great. Fishing out there on a nice looking lake out there in the pine forests, heaven is the only word that comes to mind. An in-law of my cousin brought out some ATV’s to ride around. That really stuck out to me. I’ve always wanted to pilot one of those monsters and when the time came to ride out and react, I wasted no time. Within a few minutes I was ripping through those dirt roads and handling a 4-wheeler like a champ. It was completely epic and it reminded me so much of how my cousin and I have grown, from riding around on ATV’s with him as adults to how we used to push our bicycles to the limit on the dirt roads that surrounded our Grandma’s house when we were kids. Those moments were tantamount to how I felt as a kid. It was monumental.

The gorgeous scenery was the only distraction that kept my mind off of anything negative. The kicker came when we finally packed up and left that lake in the rear view mirror a few days later. A good friend of my cousin let us fire off a single-barrel shotgun at his spread of land. I’m not too much of a “gun guy” but I tell you, firing off that weapon and reloading like a pro was therapy enough to me.

My cousin and I made a pit stop on the way back to civilization. We stopped at our Grandma’s place and we visited her as well as other relatives that were present. It was so great to see her. It was a welcoming presence.  It was awkward to me because I hadn’t shaved or showered or even attempted to look presentable to my loved ones. Emanating in your own bodily funk for a few days really makes you ponder your station in life. The visit to Grandma’s was totally beneficial.

But the one remaining thought that stuck with me was the fact that my family loves me. They care for me and they know when something is wrong.  I pride myself on still being so close to my Grandma. I think I know why some people call their Grandmas “Big Mama”. It just makes total sense now.

The Pain & Joys of Online Competition…

 – Photo Courtesy of Rockstar Games…

I’ve always been a fan of action films. It hasn’t been that long but video game technology is at the point where they’re becoming more engaging than movies themselves. Most especially multiplayer gaming. The thrill of ducking death and dodging bullets (virtually, of course) has it’s pros and cons. I only entered the online gaming ring about a year and some change ago. But ever since then, a new world opened up for me that included a whole lot of disrespect. Most likely from a someone a whole lot younger or older than me, but that never bothered me because if it’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that opposition and haters come in all ages and forms. Only in the online world of gaming do they remain anonymous aside from the user ID’s these kooks hide behind. Some of these people choose some very imaginative handles too. Like 2Cool4Skool, WhyUMad?, Soldier4Hire, PlainJane420, or my favorite so far: takeitordie07.

I jumped into the online gaming world due to the increased cell phone reports of my cousin. The hook was a game called “Call of Duty: Black Ops”. Once I got a Playstation 3 and hooked it up to a high speed internet connection, it was on like a Hong Kong action flick. My tide had turned. Now I’m not going to sugarcoat, but I completely sucked at it. But the more I played, the more skilled I became. With great skill I learned that hostility would come heavy with being so good. When I learned that my opponents and competitors had microphones to voice their own obscenities and hatemongering toward me, the level of hate increased. But the funny thing about all of it…I loved it. I loved hearing how much another online player hated me because of how well I was virtually destroying them. It mesmerized me. It made me feel good to know that I could bring such an increased discomfort in someone else’s leisure time. Pure joy to me is hearing all the crazy conjointed swear phrases followed by my own handle. Such examples “You got so f****n’ lucky that time, you lucky mf’er!” or “You’re such a s****y gamer that I oughta let my 4 year-old take you on!” And so on and so on.

But it’s not all whacked out as some people may see it. There’s connection involved, emotional connection. For example, I use the multiplayer competiton to talk with my cousin via bluetooth microphone because I don’t get to see him everyday and he lives 8 hours away from me. It’s good to know that he has my back and that he won’t let anything happen to me. That kind of confidence going into a online competition is all I’ll ever need to attack, in reality it’s different. That, plus it gives me great relief to know that he’s always going to be a part of my crew no matter what. Teaming up with your family whether it be tangible or friend-like is a definite joy.

On the other hand, online competion can get pretty iffy. There’s no containment system that could corral the sheer absolute chaos that goes on in internet gaming. Some real sick people too, just read their user ID’s. I’ve recently begun playing a game called “Max Payne 3” which would explain the above pic. The multiplayer option on there is insane! But it’s great at the same time because it includes features that I would never get from a “Call of Duty” game. The difference being COD’s 1st person perspective and M.P.3’s third person perspective. There’s a feature on the game called “Vendettas” which allows one player to place a kill out on you for some extra points. But when it takes place and the hit backfires on them, the double points go to you for putting them in their place. I can remember a time when someone placed about 8 vendettas on me in a single round and failed on each and every one because they could never capitalize. I never got mad and placed one out on them. I accepted their vengeance as recognition and was willing and able to take them out before they did me in. That’s not negative to me…it’s all rewarding.

What really gets me though is imagining if this was still the arcade era and people coughing up mega quarters just to keep playing. If 25 Cent arcades were still around, I’d of probabaly spent $500 to keep dishing out virtual hostility. Thank God, the arcades came home.